It’s the end of Thanksgiving weekend. On Thursday, the meal was good. On Friday, after a short time at the day job I did my annual pass through Target for Black Friday deals. I also watched the first Christmas movie of the season–The Night Before (fun movie, first time I’ve watched it). Saturday was a two show day followed by an evening watching Christmas movies, eating Chinese takeout and drinking wine with Angela. Sunday morning was brunch and a pass through Half Price Books with Emily. And now, it’s nearly 2am, and it’s Monday.
Three years ago, November 28th was Thanksgiving. It was also the day that B and I went from hanging out and having adventures to admitting that there was something there. We made silly turkey drawings by tracing our hands and we watched movies and we kissed for the first time.
I’m not over her. I don’t know when I will be, or if I ever will be completely. I’ll have to move on and I hope that I find someone that I can share future adventures with and who makes me happy (and, you know, visa versa). But B, while we were together, filled my life in a way that I had never experienced before. Since she broke up with me I have had a constant ache and an empty part of me where she once lived. But I’m thankful, because up until her I had never felt the things that I felt with her. And I’m thankful, because I know that it meant something that I had her in my life at all. I know what love feels like. To have that even once is a gift. And as I continue to look for it again, at least I’ll have an idea of what I’m looking for.
More later …