We’re in the summer gloaming now and I have that feeling that I’ve left so much undone, again. Most of this comes from having my sense of the summer uprooted and left by the side of the highway early on, but still.
There are entries for this blog that I sketched out that, with some tweaking, could still be posted. And probably will, because by the time I’m getting home from my “day” job I don’t have much energy for anything else.
I’m moving again. My roommate decided while she was away at her summer gig that she liked the idea of living on her own and that she should do it year round. So, I’m looking. It’ll be January 1st (or December 1st if the deposit/ first month numbers work out). Places won’t even know if they have the apartments open for that time period for another couple of months, so it’s a process. I’ve exhausted the people I know that also might be compatible roommates with me, so I will be living alone again. That’s probably for the best, I should be solely accountable for myself again and not tie myself to anyone else’s whims. And I have a very small amount of “flexible” income, so there’s that.
I’m reading more novels, or trying to. I found myself in a patch where I read a great deal of articles, comics and graphic novels, but nothing denser. Since that determination, I’ve read The Martian and The Scarlet Gospels. I’m reading the 5th Jack Reacher novel, Echo Burning, now. One of those planned entries was a “what I’m reading” thing, so I’ll probably elaborate on my thoughts there. I had been trying to keep up on logging my reading list on Goodreads, mostly to keep track of where I was at in various comics series, but that dropped of a while ago. Not sure if I’ll pick it up again.
What else? Once I feel rooted again, I think I’m going to dive back into my book and finally revise the damn thing. Page one, and on. It’s been in the drawer for long enough that I can approach it fresh. And, I’ve got some ideas.
These things are probably for the best, right? 2015 started out pretty fantastic and fell to shit midway through, but that won’t sustain. I was really good at being on my own before, being self-sufficient and self-reliant. This has been a year of people deciding that they need space, and that space happens to be space away from me. I’ve learned this year that I’m not currently anyone’s priority. For a while I was and it felt really good. I got used to that feeling and then it was gone. And it’s no ones fault. Lives change, people change, priorities change. My friends are married, they have children. They are also having those moments where they need to learn about themselves and be alone. It’s just sometimes shitty timing. 2016 will get better. I’ll get better. That’s what we do. We grow, we take the hits and we keep moving forward. So, I’m going to keep moving forward.
More later …