So, Zack has been working long days. He has a reason to be tired, right? So, what’s my excuse?
Well, for one: I’m still fucking awake.
I have a tendency to not be able to sleep, or rather, if I fall asleep before midnight I find that I wake up constantly through the night. So, I don’t fall asleep before midnight. Or one. Or two.
What do I do with this time? Am I productive? The answer is no, and yes. Last summer I did a series of midnight sketches, watercolors that took an hour or two that I did around midnight. Sometimes I watch movies or television in my queue. I’ll take notes on stories I’m working on (sometimes I’ll work on the actual stories, but mainly my mind is a little too mushy for anything that in depth prolonged over multiple days). Most of the time I skulk around online. I poke into the far corners, shine a flashlight around, and see if anything is there to poke back. I’ll flip through blogs I’ve bookmarked and follow link after link until I’ve definitely taken a wrong turn somewhere and I find one of those things that one finds online that one is not able to unsee.
I’ll not elaborate.
There is a ghost-like element to letting my brain drift in the late/ early hours. With the extra static that fatigue brings with it, sometimes you can hear extra signals in the noise, stuff that you wouldn’t have heard otherwise when the static is a full broadcast of other people’s shit during the day. In the dark quiet, the ears still humming from all the noise vibrations from all those interactions throughout the day, sometimes things become clearer.
And sometimes they fog up more and one finds themselves writing a pointless blog entry.
2 am now. Definitely time to turn my brain off.
More later …