Last weekend was the snowpocalypse. Biggest blizzard in Minnesota since the Halloween blizzard in 1991. I still went to work.
I worked the morning and afternoon performances of RH. We also had an afternoon matinee of our holiday show on the main stage. We still had audiences too … they weren’t huge, but they were there and they really enjoyed the shows. Some folks said that we should have cancelled all the performances (we cancelled the evening performance). When I went to work, driving wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the worst I’d ever experienced. The storm got worse throughout the day. A lot of theatres still had matinee performances. I think that we made the right decision to have the day time shows. People could exchange out of the performance if they didn’t feel like they could make it in. Fact of the matter was, RH was closing on Sunday. If we cancelled that show it would have been the same as telling people, I know that you wanted to see this show, but I’m sorry, you’re out of luck. By having the performance, we gave the people who really wanted to see it the chance, and they came and loved it.
It’s Christmas time. I’m slowly amping up into the spirit of things, but it comes and goes. I think fatigue plays a large part of that, I’m just really worn out right now. I want Christmas Vacation, but I’m an adult and it just doesn’t work that way anymore. I’ve been listening to a lot of Christmas tunes thought (mixed in with other stuff) and getting some new Christmas music too. I’ve also slowly started watching my annual staple of holiday flicks. And my little brother is coming on Saturday, so yeah, things are happening.
I hit this time of year: Christmas and New Years, I start to think about the road I’ve taken and roads that I veered off of in my life. I can’t complain too much about where I am, I’m healthy, I’m at a good place with school/ writing, and I’ve got a good job. I’ve also still got all of my immediate family and we all get along (see my thankful post for addition things). But I also look at the opportunities that I missed. The people that I bumped into in my life and traveled a similar path for a short while before splitting at the fork. What if and all that. Some are married. Some have kids. Some are single and just elsewhere, living other lives. And I wonder, would things be better or worse if …
But that’s as far as I go. I would be a different person if any of those what ifs had happened and I can’t really imagine what I would want to sacrifice to make any of those things a reality. I mean, what if I got that girl I dated my Junior year in college from my English class? What if that path led me to a cubicle? Would the trade-off be worth it? What if I had actually pursued a relationship with that other girl, the one who had a crush on me? Would we have worked out or would it have prolonged the inevitable and would the outcome have been the same? There are all sorts of what ifs, and if string theory is to be believed, then there is a reality in which every single choice has gone that other direction(s) and there are other versions of me living that life.
But this is how it is. I’m single (and I’m alright with that, there are times when I’d like to have that person next to me, but other times when I’m really happy that I don’t). I’m writing. I have a job. And if I wanted, I could leave–pick up and move somewhere else and try on another city for a while. I have that freedom. It’s kind of nice to know that I can.
Not sure where this is going really. Listening to too much pop music obviously (just got the Ben Folds/ Nick Hornby collaboration Lonely Avenue and it is wonderful). I have work in the morning and my final Plot class tomorrow night (though it is being held at a Korean restaurant, so I’m sure that it’s going to be pretty chill) but I think I might pop on another Christmas movie and watch until I’m dreaming of sugarplums … or however it goes on the days before Christmas.
God knows it’s going to be white … more snow on the way!
More later …