Where am I?
It’s been a week. For a moment I was pulled out of my routine, as chaotic as it has been, and dropped into another realm of chaos–family. Last Friday I managed to show up and open the show and then Saturday morning (well, Saturday afternoon) I got into my truck and head due east. On the way I picked up a box of cigars.
I forgot my jacket at home, the black one, the one that’s appropriate for a funeral. So I stopped and bought a new one. And I bought two Jimi Hendrix CDs for good measure. Somehow I got turned around in Oshkosh. Instead of taking 41 to the farm I ended up back on 45. I wound my way into an inky blackness with Hendrix providing me with a sonic landscape as I gently wound deeper into Fon du Lac, partially convinced that I’d slipped into a David Lynch movie and was never going to emerge from that Wisconsin town. Well, I emerged and made it to the farm and parked my truck behind the barn, which is another joke altogether.
Family. It was great to see everyone, though it would have been nicer under any other circumstance–funny how sometimes these are the only circumstances that will reliably bring a family back together. There is the usual drama and tensions, but what really permeated through all that bullshit was joy. We remembered Grandpa. The funeral was rough. It was hard to see him in the coffin. I read and my brother read; my dad and aunt did the eulogy. Afterward we went back to the farm and celebrated Grandpa appropriately:
The burial was the next day and that was difficult as well. I was also a pallbearer. After the burial we went out to lunch at some bar and grill called The Smokehouse I think–good food and good beer. A lot of family. Like all things it had to come to an end. I had to return to my chaos. And now I’m back.
Today was my first day back. It was like trudging through Jello with weights on. Other things are weighing on me, hanging around my sleep addled brain, but I’m not going to talk about them. Not now. Maybe some other time.
Now, I’m going to drink my wine alone and watch a movie. Still have a few cigars too …
More later …